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BIJ LUNA IS HET ALTIJD FEEST

De verkering en ik gaan vanavond naar de Kamasutra-beurs. Even kijken hoe m’n collega’s van de FOXY bezig zijn, hapje, drankje, rondje over de beurs, kijken of er nog nieuwe extremiteiten op het gebied van seks en erotiek zijn bijgekomen, beetje socializen, beetje netwerken en ondertussen een beetje halfgeil aan elkaar zitten en dan heel lief zeggen: "Hier hebben we elkaar 7 jaar geleden voor het eerst gekust, hè, schatje?" Dat soort dingen. En om dat soort dingen wat kracht bij te zetten had ik bedacht om kousen aan te trekken met jarretels en geen slipje en dan wel een jurkje en dat ik dan zo in de auto zou gaan zitten en dan m’n jurkje een beetje omhoog en dat hij dan zou zeggen: "Nou, nou." En dat hij dan de auto al richting vluchtstrook of parkeerplaats zou manoeuvreren, maar dat ik dan zou zeggen: "Nee, nee, schatje, kijken, kijken, maar niet aankomen." Dat soort dingen.

Dus ik richting de binnenstad van Tiel om jarretels aan te schaffen! En nu is Tiel nergens in de binnenstad een fatsoenlijke groenteboer te vinden, maar er zijn wel 4 lingeriewinkels. Vier! Vier! En bij geen van de 4 verkochten ze een chique, edoch sletterig lingeriesetje met jarretels en the whole shebang. Wat zeg ik; bij geen van de 4 lingeriezaken verkochten ze überhaupt jarretels!

"Mag ik u wat vragen?", vroeg ik aan lingeriedametje 4.
"Natuurlijk", zei ze.
"Verkopen jullie ook jarretels?"
"Nee, nee, die hebben we niet."
"Waarom eigenlijk niet?"
"Die verkopen we alleen rond de feestdagen."

Wat? Alleen rond de feestdagen? Alleen rond de feestdagen? Dus in Tiel worden er alleen maar sletterige setjes verkocht rond de feestdagen? Dat is hetzelfde als hem alleen op z’n verjaardag pijpen. Of alleen maar anaal als het Pasen is. Of alleen een trio rond de Kerst. Bullshit dus.

"Waarom?", vroeg ik, "het moet toch eigenlijk elke dag een feestje zijn in de slaapkamer?"

De verkoopster keek me aan alsof ze me niet begreep.

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30 reacties

  1. Myrthe schreef:

    Is er een H&M in Tiel? Zoja, die hebben ze meestal wel, have fun!

  2. Luna schreef:

    @Myrthe: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Neen, er is helaas geen H&M in Tiel… :-)

  3. darja schreef:

    en vast ook geen chistine le duc dan….

    sterkte dan!

  4. Myrthe schreef:

    Argh! En Hunkemoller…?

  5. Chantal schreef:

    ben een beetje verbaasd dat je uberhaupt nog geen jarretels had!!

  6. Luna schreef:

    @Chantal: Ja, nu je het zegt! Ik ook wel! Maar ik ga vanavond op de Kamasutra-beurs wel even kijken! :-)

  7. Sandra schreef:

    Hahaha, ik geniet zo van dit hilarische stukje! :-)

  8. Mandy schreef:

    Ha! Ik zeg: daar liggen kansen voor jou!!! Als Tiel geen sletterige setjes door het jaar heen verkoopt, waarom zou het dan bij – het enigszins van toepassing kunnende zijnde – ploesiepoesie niet kunnen? Een ervaringsdeskundige als jij! Mix art with sex en je wordt we-reld-be-roemd! In Tiel dan toch, in elk geval!

  9. Kims ke schreef:

    Jarretels zijn tha bomb! Tip: neem wel kousen met een soort rubber als plakrandje, even een gaatje in naaien (hihi) voor de jarretels, maar je hebt er dna wel veel meer plezier van!

  10. CiNNeR schreef:

    LOL Waarschijnlijk begreep de verkoopster je ook niet. Misschien behoort ze tot het gilde van vrouwen wat sex echt een afschuwelijke bezigheid vindt. ‘Moetjes’ om de man te plezieren, die kan er niets aan doen dat hij zo ‘vies’ is :) Zoiets. Ik ken ze hoor, die vrouwen (hoewel het griezelig blijft).

  11. Maurice schreef:

    “De verkoopster keek me aan alsof ze me niet begreep.” En toen werd ik erg lacherig en blij..GEWELDIG stukje..*stopt een veer in haar kleine blilspleet*

  12. Maris schreef:

    Hahaha, hier is het elke dag feest zeker, ik draag elke dag jarretelles want ik HAAT panties.
    Vriendje vindt het ook leuk, dat wel ;-)

  13. dré schreef:

    dr zijn wel 2 sexshops in Tiel waar je wel had kunnen slagen!!

  14. Branwen schreef:

    Elke dag een feestje in de slaapkamer, hahaha briljant. Van die dingen die ik nooit zou durven zeggen. :D

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